Honoring Our Children Open 539 RR 826 Close 655 Perhaps the greatest challenge in the world today is the sensitive task of creating a home environment that helps children grow up and becoming men and women who love God, think of Jesus as a friend, and are worthy, noble, and honest. Parents who want to bring up their children to be followers of Christ face some of the greatest challenges on the planet today. Adding to this, we realize that the future of the church, society, and the nations in coming generations will depend to a large extent on what we do during the few years that our children are with us. Just having that challenge is enough to scare the most faithful parent, but add to that the understanding that we as Christians have that God expects us to exercise the best possible influences at home to assist our children in reaching the heavenly ideal. Because of this it is important that we have a clear view of the ways of accomplishing those goals that we as Christian parents see as important.. There are at least four. The first is to represent the character of God adequately. Fathers, God has chosen in His word to use the analogy of father and child to represent His relationship with us. Among the most tender statements in the Bible on the bond that unites us to God are those suggested by the relationship between a father and his children. When Jesus was pouring out His heart to God in the Garden of Gethsemane, He cried out "Father (Abba) if it be possible let this cup pass. We could better translate this, "Daddy". This is the meaning of the expression "Abbe, Father!" found in Romans 8:15 and Galatians 4:6 Rom 8:15 "For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, "Abba, Father."" Gal 4:6 "And because you are sons, God has sent forth the Spirit of His Son into your hearts, crying out, "Abba, Father!"" . I believe that is significant that Jesus used it during His supreme crisis there in the Garden. It is frightening, but true, parents stand in the place of God to their children". They are "representatives of God" in that how the children view God will be affected by how they view their parents.. This is a universal truth. Studies have shown that our concept of God has much in common with the one we form of our parents (or parental figures) during our childhood. A wise mother once wrote "Fathers and mothers and teachers need to appreciate more fully the responsibility and honor that God has placed upon them, in making them, to the child, the representatives of Himself The character revealed in the contact of daily life will interpret to the child, for good or for evil, those words of God: " 'Like as a father pitieth his children, so the Lord pitieth them that fear him' (Ps. 103:13). 'As one whom his mother comforteth, so will I comfort you' (Isa. 66: 13). An incorrect representation of God could have fatal consequences for the development of our children. There are those of us as adults who sit here today, whose concept of God has had to be wrestled with apart from the way that we saw our parents. This incorrect representation of God could be the beginning of dysfunctional family relations, with its accompanying problems for the child. It could trigger attitudes of fear, rejection, or rebellion against God and against any other authority figure. It is vital, then, that we communicate to our children a correct image of God. As George, a young man 24 years old, said to a teacher trying to describe God as a father to him, "Don't tell me that God loves me and that He is like my father. If He is like my father, He would not love me." Then he shouted in desperation, "If God is like my father, I do not want anything to do with Him" How many times that can be echoed throughout the world today! Our first task, then, should be to commit ourselves to presenting a personal portrait of God. The second objective of the task committed to us is to transfer Christian values to our children. Our children are constantly bombarded from all directions, advertising, TV, videos, and in some cases schools, in a flood of influences attempting to implant in them values in opposition to Christian teaching. Christian parents need to actively monitor the influence of friends on their children-the influence also of books, television, games, toys, computer programs, and the like. Parents should know what happens at school. They should be acquainted with the adults with whom their children come in contact. They should know the content of the TV that they watch. They should be aware that Satan's agenda is everywhere today: in toys, entertainment, advertising. Anything that has the potential to influence the tender, pliable avenues of their minds should be carefully scrutinized. I have one rule of thumb that I offer to parents. If it looks ugly, and claims to be ugly or evil, it probably is. If you have any doubt about what I am saying, just watch the modern cartoons for 5 minutes. It is vital that parents develop positive family relations; that they model through their lives the values they're trying to teach; that they encourage fellowship with other families who have similar values; that they provide opportunities for their children to learn to be involved in productive work and selfless service for others. But the most important way to communicate Christian values is by making our personal relationship to Jesus first-in word and deed. Our third great objective is to help our children develop a Christlike character. It is our most important work in life to form the characters of your children according to the divine Pattern. To achieve this, we must understand the divine ideal. The Bible is filled with instructions and illustrations of character development. Deuteronomy 6, for instance, talks about effecting memorials of God's providence, teaching tools for coming generations. The Beatitudes are another example. Here the Lord paints a picture of the divine ideal for a symmetrical and well developed character (Matt. 5:3-12). Paul, writing in Galatians 5:22, 23, teaches that the fruit of the Spirit is a character filled with "love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control" (NIV). In Philippians 4:8 he speaks about the importance of guarding even our thoughts if we want to develop a virtuous character: "Whatsoever things are true, . . . honest, . . . just, . . . pure, . . . lovely these things." There are many excellent books written to help parents. Make use of some of these. I believe that all Adventist parents would find the books Child Guidance, Education, and Counsels to Parents and Teachers helpful in bringing about a better understanding of God's plans for their children. Above all, we should spend time and energy studying the passages from the Bible discuss the childhood, adolescence, and youth of Christ. The Desire of Ages, chapters 7-9, should be required reading for Christian fathers and mothers who are genuinely interested in helping their children develop a Christlike character. The fourth objective of parenting is to prepare our children to govern themselves. One of the main objects of discipline is to train children to control themselves in all circumstances. There are many of us as adults that need to work on this too, by the way. Children are born without the ability to decide, judge, and act by themselves. In order to learn to govern themselves, they need instruction, motivation, guidance, correction, and an atmosphere of love and acceptance. H. Stephen Glenn has suggested in his book How to Raise Self-reliant Children in a Self-indulgent World that teaching children self-governance involves seven fundamental elements-among them: --the child's perception that he or she is growing in personal capacity, --a sense of personal value; --conviction that he or she will be able to modify the environment whenever necessary, --the capacity to know himself or herself and to control the inner world; --and the ability to relate effectively to others. Above anything else, a child needs to learn to trust in God and seek His will. For this reason, family devotional times and the encouragement of spiritual curiosity are very important to the family, to help children form a style of personal devotion and a close relationship with God. The task of surrounding our children with positive influences in order to fulfill the great objectives of parenthood is not an easy one. It requires commitment, total surrender, perseverance, and a growing comprehension of God's love. In particular it involves a genuine relationship with the Father of all, remembering that He is more interested in the salvation of our children than we can ever be. It is not always what we may wish it might be. If I might share some personal experiences. When our daughter Nicci was 3 years old, we bought a second hand color TV. We did it because we wanted to watch all of the 1976 programming around the 200th birthday of the USA. But there was an unexpected side effect. Nicci would not move away from the TV. She would sit in front of it waiting for someone to turn it on. This went on for a while. Then we decided that it was more important for Nicci to live a normal life than to have a TV in the house, so we sold it. Interestingly enough, now that she has children, she had been restricting the TV to them. But no matter what you can do, you can only help in the process of bringing up Christian children. When all is said and done, and you have done your best, as you should have done, it is the influence of the Holy Spirit in the lives of your child that finally leads them to accept Jesus for their own Savior. "After you have done your duty faithfully to your children, then carry them to God and ask Him to help you. Tell Him that you have done your part, and then in faith ask God to do His part, that which you cannot do.... He will hear you pray. He will love to answer your prayers" (Child Guidance, p. 256). So as you see, while we call this service a child dedication, it is more importantly a parent dedication. Laying hands on the children no doubt brings blessings. If that is so, how much more is dedicating the parents, and having the parents dedicate themselves, a way to experience blessings. Furthermore, it is the responsibility of each member of the congregation to pray for, and act for the salvation of our collective family. The misguided actions of one well-meaning, but poorly advised, member of the church family can influence a child negatively the rest of their lives. Let us place our children before the Lord and fully trust in His loving promises. In time we will receive from God the reward of eternal life-for ourselves and for them! If we could have the parents come forward with their children now. And I am going to ask the deaconesses to also come up and help me as we lay hands on the children and the parents today.